21. “I Have Life Circumstances That Are Ruining Everything”

Sep 8

Key Takeaways

Approach all your circumstances with individual thought models so you can separate them from each other. [9:45]

Don’t change the circumstances in your life that you think are causing you pain. Instead, change the way you think about these circumstances. [24:00]

You are in complete control of your life. You can have any result you want. If there’s a circumstance right now you believe is really causing a huge problem, I need you to evaluate your thoughts. It will change everything for you. [27:00]

You don’t necessarily need to change the circumstances you’re in to actually make some positive changes in your life. Your circumstances don’t ruin everything! You need to change your thoughts about these circumstances.

Listen to Episode 21 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “ I Have Life Circumstances That Are Ruining Everything”

When you’re unhappy in your circumstances, it’s so easy to look at them and think they need to change.

Hate your job? Get a new one.

Arguing with your spouse? You’ve fallen out of love.

Broken appliances? Buy something new.

Looking at each circumstance, I totally understand how you’d think the best thing to do is to change it. I’ve been there, too.

But what if I told you that the circumstance isn’t the problem? That it’s actually the way you think about it.

You Have All the Control You Need for Your Circumstances

The circumstances you’re in don’t cause the end result in your life. It might sound like some tough love, but honestly, it’s the way that you look at them. It’s your thoughts about the circumstance that creates the way you feel towards it.

Once you discover this separation, you’ll realize that you have all the control you need over any circumstance in your life.

Let me repeat that: your thoughts and your circumstances are different. They might relate, but your circumstances are static and unmoving. This is where we employ the thought model, which I recap in this episode.

Yes, your circumstances might influence your thoughts. But what happens if you change your thoughts? If you change the way you think about your circumstances?

Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Life

Before you can change your thoughts, you need to sit down and accept what your circumstances are.

Once you accept that this is where you are in your life, whatever it is, you’ll have a much easier time finding clarity about how you actually feel about the circumstance.

You need to explore what the root cause of these thoughts are. For me, my thoughts about how much I worked and the time spent away from my family stemmed from an upbringing where my parents were around all the time.

So what you need to do is create new thought patterns and beliefs. I’m talking you through what you need to do in this episode. I want you to have control over your thoughts - and, more than anything, I know you have the power to approach every circumstance in your life with clarity and power.

Homework for Women Physicians

Before you make any changes to any circumstance in your life, I want you to examine where your thoughts about it are coming from. Really look at the root cause of them. Does this change your perspective? Let me know in the comments below!

In This Episode

Why the circumstances you’re in don’t cause the result in your life [6:55]
How you actually have all the control you need over any circumstance [12:08]
What happens when you realize that your thoughts and your circumstances are different [17:00]
Why you need to accept the circumstance you’re in before you can change it [23:00]
How to create new beliefs and thoughts about your circumstances [25:00]

Quotes

“The circumstance does not make us feel a certain way.” [3:53]

“We can be in control of our emotions. We can be in control of our thoughts. The only step that we actually have to take to do any of those things is to be able to define, truly, what a circumstance is.” [11:25]

“You can change your life today by deciding to commit to knowing what is a circumstance and what is a thought.” [14:15]

“If you keep trying to change the circumstance, you are going to spin on that hamster wheel all day long.” [21:14]