20. “My Urges Are Out Of Control”

Sep 1

Feel into the feelings behind your urges and you’ll learn to control them. This might seem counterintuitive, but trust me when I say that recognizing, acknowledging, and slowing down the thoughts behind your deepest urges is the secret to working past them.

Listen to Episode 20 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “My Urges Are Out Of Control”

Learning to handle and control your urges probably sounds harder than training a troupe of monkeys to perform circus tricks to you, I know. But listen to me: when you figure out the trigger behind your urges, sit with your feelings, and recognize these negative thought patterns, you can absolutely control them.

What exactly is an urge? It’s a feeling that builds up inside you, begging you to do something like eating that bar of chocolate (or jar of almonds). Don’t you wish it had a pop-off valve you could just release and move on?

An urge is 100% connected to your feelings. So what you need to do the next time you have an urge is to sit there and feel what feelings you’re having.

What automatic thoughts connect with this urge? Pinpointing some or all of these is the first step to navigating your way through your urges.

Why You Need to Feel Your Feelings

It sounds hard. It sounds unpleasant. And it sounds near impossible, I know.

When you give your mind the chance to actually feel what it wants to feel, you start listening to it. And when you start listening to it, incredible things will happen.

Ladies, feeling your feelings gives you all the power in the world. When you handle your feelings, you can, honestly, handle anything that comes your way - even (especially) your urges.

What you do with these thoughts and feelings matter. First, you need to sit with them and recognize where they’ve come from. Then you have to acknowledge them.

Speak to your urges, whether out loud or in your mind. Talk to them like they’re a long-time friend coming over for coffee (or almonds).

When you acknowledge them, you’ll never guess what happens. - They go away!

You Have Full Control Over Your Urges

It is absolutely possible for you to retrain your brain to overcome your urges. In this episode, I talk you through the three steps you should take to succeed here.

The first step is to slow down the thoughts that connect to the urge you’re feeling. What are these thoughts telling you?

Then, recognize and acknowledge the feelings you’re having that make the urge feel so strong.

Finally, after you’ve given yourself the time to explore these thoughts, allow yourself to have whatever it is your urge wants. Oh - you don’t want it anymore? Good!

That’s what usually happens when you take the time to slow down your thoughts.

Homework for Women Physicians

I’d love to support you while you work to overcome your urges. I’m offering a free 7-day transformation challenge where I’ll work with you every day to retrain your brain. You can find out more information here - I can’t wait to help you transform!

I’d love to hear what you thought about this episode. Will you be joining my free 7-day Challenge? Let me know in the comments on the episode page!

In This Episode

What urges are and how they’re connected to your feelings [1:30]
How you can sit with yourself to determine the automatic thoughts connected to your urges [3:40]
Why the way you handle your feelings matters to help control your urges [11:00]
How to retrain your brain to overcome your urges [14:45]
What happens when you slow down the thoughts connected to your urge [20:00]
What three things you need to do to rewire your brain and slow down your urges today [21:00]

Quotes

“An urge is one of those feelings that we just want to have a pop-off valve for.” [2:22]

“The power lies in being willing to feel that feeling. If you are willing to feel that feeling, you have all of the power in the world. If you can handle any feeling then you can handle everything.” [10:53]

“The minute you start pushing a feeling away and resisting it, it is going to amplify. It is going to get even more powerful, it’s going to get stronger. You will know that you’re resisting a feeling if that feeling continues to feel stronger and stronger and stronger.” [17:38]

Key Takeaways

Recognizing and working through the reason you’re having urges will help you navigate them. [5:20]

You have control over all of the urges you have in your life. You need to believe you’re in control and learn to handle your feelings. You have the power, not your urges. [12:45]

When you give in to your urges all the time, you start to accept that you can’t ever control them. Instead, learn to recognize why you’re having urges. Take total inventory of why they’re in your life. [23:00]